


Safe

by OnlyOneWoman



Series: Self-indulgent Comfort Smut [2]
Category: Black Sails
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Anxiety, Comfort, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Explicit Sexual Content, Falling In Love, Fear, Gunnbones, Insecurity, M/M, Misunderstandings, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Scared Of Dark, Tenderness, Topping from the Bottom, tongue riding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-18
Updated: 2017-02-18
Packaged: 2018-09-25 09:11:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9812681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnlyOneWoman/pseuds/OnlyOneWoman
Summary: ”Why me?””Sorry?””Why me, Billy? You could have almost anyone on this island… I’ve seen how they look at you at the inn. Both men and women.””So?”~A little follow-up to "Alone" because for some reason there's never enough gunnbone smut in this fandom. And because we need smut and cuddles in general to survive this damn season.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Luls](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luls/gifts), [AngryPirateHusbands](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngryPirateHusbands/gifts).



He’s following him around like a dog. At least that’s how Ben feels like. He’s been trying to walk with more distance between them, trying not to search for his eyes quite so often when being in public, but it’s hard. He needs to be close and that makes him feel weak. A feeling Ben hates.  
  
The last two weeks have been sweet and scary at the same time. They’ve not slept separately if their duties don’t demand it. Five times has that happened and all those times, Billy’s looked bothered, almost worried. He’s asked more than once if Ben can sleep. If it feels alright. It doesn’t, really, but Ben would never dare to say that, because he doesn’t wan’t to make his lover worried. Or appear too weak. Hell, he’s not a child or badly ill. He’s just haunted by nightmares, waking up sweaty and panting whenever Billy’s not there. And sometimes when Billy’s there as well.  
  
To Ben, life is all about this man now. He knows it’s silly, but also accepts the fact that it may take a while before he’s more of his old self again. A nice lie and Ben doesn’t bother with correcting his thoughts. After all, he’s the only one hearing them. Waking up in Billy’s arms, receiving morning kisses on his neck, feeling all warm and calm, rested from the night is pure sweetness. They wake up early but always linger. If they’ve moved away a little from each other, or the blanket has slipped off Ben, Billy always pulls him close and adjusts the blanket. Sometimes Ben thinks he should say he’s not freezing in Billy’s arms, but the little endearment is as sweet as it’s rare.  
  
Ben’s used to be alone. Even before he got captured by the maroons, before ending up being the sole survivor among his crew. He’s always been a bit quiet and kept to himself. And it’s sometimes been difficult to find friends. Billy has become more than that. He’s a friend, a brother and a lover. Safety where there’s never been anyone before. And that scares Ben. To find something he wants only to risk having it taken away again. Billy is a pretty, strong and well liked man among their people and Ben’s seen both men and women throw their gazes after him. Some of them are far, far more interesting and enjoyable to be with than Ben. And it’s not like they’ve made any promises of not having others. Ben wouldn’t presume to be desireble enough for that.  
  
This night, Billy’s late. Ben’s been done with his duties since some hours and has taken the opportunity to have some peace and quiet in the house, reading a little and making tea. He knows it’s silly to worry, but he can’t help himself. What if something’s happened? What if Billy is tired of him and has gone to the inn? What if there’s another man…? No, that’s stupid. They’ve not made any promises, but Billy’s honest and not one to loose his judgement after some drinks. He wouldn’t end up in another man’s bed out of pure boredom or too much rum. And even if he did, Ben has no right to be angry about it.  
  
Ben sits down by the small fire, trying to feel grateful about the warmth, the house that protects him from wind, sun and rain and the bread, cheese and slice of goat meat he has for supper. The hot tea, the rum, the fire and the blankets… Yes, he has a lot to be grateful about now. The attention, kindness and sweet touches from Billy are something he shouldn’t count on, because maybe the man just tried to be nice…? No, that would be a weird way of showing it, considering the many nights they’ve spent together, naked under the blankets. Billy desires him, that’s obvious, even though Ben’s still a little amazed by that. But bodily desire and lust is not the same as deeper care or exclusiveness.  
  
The darkness never scared Ben before the maroon camp. He’s from Scotland, grown up on the countryside and the darkness was as natural as the wind and the rain. He’s lived on ships, slept in the darkness below deck and never been afraid. The darkness became different on that island, in the cage. It changed when one mate after another was taken from the cage, never to return. When Ben as the only one managed to escape for three days in the unknown jungle only to be captured again. The shadows on the walls in this house, remind of those hunting for him between the trees.  
  
Flickering shadows trigger his memories. Fear makes his heart speed up, Billy’s absence stirs up irrational thoughts of being abandoned. Faces of long since dead crew mates passing by his inner vision and reminds him of the despair and the sense of utter hopelessness and abandonness when he was the only one left in the cage. It’s too much to handle at once and it makes him cry.  
  
It’s as if reason has left him completely. He knows Billy will come, knows he’s not avoiding him and that there are literally dozens of things that could delay him that has nothing to do with Ben. But logic has no chance right now. Ben has his knees pressed hard against his chest, arms wrapped tightly around them in a self-comforting position by the fire. A vain attempt to choke the feelings in his chest and shutting out the darkness around him. Why can’t he just calm down and go to bed? Why is he reacting like a clingy child? He’s obliviously rocking back and forth, as if his body has taken over when his mind is numb and useless.  
  
”Ben? Darling, what’s the matter?”  
  
How can a man of that stature walk so quiet? The sudden interruption of his erratic thoughts, scares him and he’s letting out an involuntarily whimper. The next second, Billy’s wrapping his large arms around his pathetic form and holds him tight.  
  
”Things took longer than I expected, Ben. I wanted to send someone to tell you, but there was no one available. I’m so sorry I had you waiting this long, sweetheart… Was thinking about you the whole time and I ran the whole way…”  
  
Billy’s slightly sweaty skin, his heartbeats and the way his breath is raised, confirm his words. The man ran to him and not a short distance. Ben’s so relieved to have him back, to feel his embrace again, he can’t bother to feel ashamed right now. He buries his face against Billy’s neck, desperate to still the most urgent need for closeness. He clutches at the man’s shirt, unable to stop crying and act like a sane grown man.  
  
”I don’t want to be like this, Billy… This is not sane!”  
”You’re not mad, Ben and I shouldn’t have stayed away that long. I know it’s not easy to adjust to this life again after what happened to you. There’s no shame in that. It took months after I was released from the Navy before I could even sleep without having Gates in the hammock next to me. No one else would do. And after what Hume did to me, Joji and DeGroot used to check on me every night and keep me company if I couldn’t sleep or had nightmares. It has nothing to do with being childish or insane, Ben. I should’ve known you’d feel worse once it got dark.”  
  
Billy’s embrace is like coming home. Ben’s desperate, exhausted tears finding a homeport in his arms, in the fabric of his shirt and he’s careless about how it looks. If Billy will push him away and look down on him, get second thoughts about their union, whatever it is. But he doesn’t. He holds him gently, nuzzles Ben’s hair and swirls his legs around Ben’s waist to get closer.  
  
”I longed for you the whole time, you know… Thought about you, how I wanted to be here, just you and me…”  
”The shadows… I can’t seem to… Oh, God, Billy! I see their faces on the walls when it’s dark! Fred, Pennyfeather, old Jenkins who used to talk in his sleep… And then the cage, how they took them out, one by one… I see them as soon as it’s getting dark!”  
”Hey, hey… Ben, look at me. Look at me, darling. It’s your memories, nothing else. You’re not insane, you’re not pathetic. Trust me, it will get better, everything isn’t hopeless because of that. You have no idea how happy I am for stumbling upon you in that cage.”  
  
Billy keeps stroking his back, slowly making him calm again, talking softly and without judgement.  
  
”You’ve kept _me_ sane, Ben. I’ve never had anyone like this. I’ve not felt like this for anyone, ever. Before you came along, I had no idea how it was to just… long for someone special. And you’re special to me. Believe me, you’re no more broken than me. You’re a survivor, not a failure. No one who’s not been where you were, seen the same things, felt the same loss, has any right to call you weak or insane.”  
  
Ben only whimpers, but less desperate, as if his mind finally has something to hold on to. A path to follow. Billy kisses his neck, his hair, takes his face between his hands to search for his lips. Ben loves his kisses. They’re soft, warm and can shift between comforting slow and panting rush. These ones are of the comforting kind and his speeding heart slowly comes to rest again, as Billy rocks his scrawny body on the floor. And Ben still can’t get rid of the thought that’s been present in his mind since he started noticing the first mate’s gaze on him and didn’t know how to interpret it.  
  
”Why me?”  
”Sorry?”  
”Why _me_ , Billy? You could have almost _anyone_ on this island… I’ve seen how they look at you at the inn. Both men and women.”  
”So?”  
  
Ben can’t help but letting out a frustrated sound.  
  
”I’m a fucking _wreck_ , Billy! When I’m not screaming and sobbing from nightmares, waking you up in the middle of night, I follow you around like some damn puppy. I can’t stand crowds, darkness or being alone. I don’t want for you to come rushing to me because of that.”  
”You think _that’s_ why I ran all the way to you? Because I thought I had to watch over you?”  
  
Billy looks completely taken aback and he lets go of Ben, creating enough space between them so they can look each other in the eyes. Billy’s blue gaze is a mix of frustration, exasperation and surprise.  
  
”Exactly what is that you think I feel for you, Ben? You think I’ve spent my nights with you just to get laid or out of… fucking _pity_?”  
  
He laughs. A short, joyless sound and leans his head in his hands.  
  
”Have I seriously been so unclear in my actions with you, that you mistook my touches for _that_? Fuck, I don’t know if you’re the one who’s blind or if I’m just a fucking idiot when it comes to show affection.”  
  
Ben doesn’t know what to say. Billy seems angry and the whole situation is suddenly very confusing. His giant lover rubs a hand over his face, sighing.  
  
”For fucks sake, Ben, if I just wanted to get my cock wet, don’t you think I’d been with someone else in the first place? And God knows I’ve spent a lot of time comforting mates over the years, from nightmares, injuries or other things, but that doesn’t mean I took them to bed.”  
  
He swallows, presses his lips together.  
  
”I’m… I’m _in love_ with you, Ben. Thought that was fucking obvious by now, but apparently not.”  
  
Ben’s mind is boiling again. Desire? Definately. Brotherly care? Most certainly. Understanding and lack of judgement for his sufferings and the erratic behavior they cause? Yes. But _love_? His heart is pounding faster again, as the realisation hits him. A fortnight in this man’s bed. A fortnight of shared pleasures as soon as darkness falls. Of waking up in his arms, being pulled close in early mornings if the sleep has increased the distance between them. Kisses on his neck, a nose in his hair.  
  
”If you don’t want more than my company in bed, please just…”  
  
Ben interrupts him with a kiss. He doesn’t trust his voice now, doesn’t trust his tongue to get the words right and all he can think of doing, is to answer with his body. The kiss is as desperate as his grip around Billy’s arms and they’re both panting when it’s finally broken. Ben’s face is heated, he knows he’s starring and he swallows.  
  
”I was so certain it was just me… I mean…”  
”Because you thought what happened to you makes you impossible to fall for? Ben, let me tell you this: If we by some fucking miracle manage to get out of this war alive and free, I’d want nothing more than sharing that life, that freedom, with you. I need you, Ben. Not primarly as my brother in this fucking war, but for all the other things a man shares with the one who’s dear to him.”  
  
Billy catches his lips in another heated kiss, fingers entangled in his hair, tugging at the long tresses at the border on painful. The kiss is moving from slow to hasty, from shallow brushes to deep and wet. Billy’s eyes are heated, his pupils black from lust and yet so soft, as if the fragile parts of Ben don’t disgust or even disturbe him. He sees them, yes, Ben knows he does, but the sight isn’t repulsive to the man.  
  
Billy gets on his heels, pulling Ben up from the floor, but instead of dragging him along to the bed, he simply widens Ben’s thighs and presses him to the wall, lifting him to have his legs swirled around his own waiste again. When his hips jerks harder against Ben, Billy moans.  
  
”You feel it, Ben? You feel how hard you make me… That’s just from kissing you, tasting you… There’s no one else I’d rather be with than you.”  
  
The pressure from Billy’s cock makes Ben’s body sing. The assuring, the prooves Billy gives him, because he knows Ben needs them right now. To get on the right path, feel steady on his feet again. The man who holds him is so hard no self-hate or doubts can deny it. Billy’s trousers are wet around the buttons and Ben’s own cock is leaking and throbbing in it’s prison of fabrics. He places kisses on Ben’s neck, lets his hands work their way under his shirt. Then he moves to hold onto Ben’s hips, lifts him and leaves the wall.  
  
Being carried in another man’s arms should feel ridiculous, but it doesn’t. It only increases the feeling of being safe, protected and cared for. Billy lays him down on the bed with such reverence, Ben gets a lump in his throat. Dammit, he doesn’t want to cry again and he takes a deep breath, forcing the worry back and shuts his eyes. Billy’s hands are all over him, sliding along his back and the curve of his ass, back up to his hair. Billy ruts against him and leans to nibble his ear.  
  
”Fuck… I’ve not had cock up my ass since before we went hunting for that fucking Urca gold…”  
  
Ben almost looses his breath and he quickly grabs the base of his cock, starving it from sensations that may threat to flow over.  
  
”You want to switch…?”  
”Don’t you want to?”  
  
Billy’s ass is a sight to be seen, especially since he always wears trousers that sits tight over his hips and thighs. Ben’s able to come solely from straddling Billy’s hard thigh and rut against it, but he’s not even allowed himself to imagine fucking that firm, muscled ass. And even if he would’ve, he’d still be too weak to do it like Billy does it to him. He sighs.  
  
”I can’t do it like you, you know. I’m not strong enough.”  
  
Billy smiles.  
  
”I don’t think I’ve ever been with anyone strong enough to fuck me like that. I’m simply too tall and heavy. There was one man who tried. He was almost as tall as me and really strong. Didn’t work at all, he had to concentrate so much on keeping me up, his cock went limp. I know you can’t fuck me like that so I wouldn’t ask for it. And it has nothing to do with you being weaker than other men.”  
  
Ben bites his lip.  
  
”How do you want to…?”  
  
Billy leans in to kiss his neck, pressing his hips hard down on his cock.  
  
”Let me ride you. Please…”  
  
As if he’d need to beg. Ben’s amazed by the whole situation that’s been turned in a direction he’d never been able to foresee. He lets his hands slide down from Billy’s shoulders to his ass, grabbing hold of it and digging his fingers into the firm flesh. Billy moans as Ben moves to press his fingers between the cheeks, rubbing his cleft with his fingers through the fabric. He rubs back and forth and Billy presses back to his hand, eyes closed and lips slightly parted.  
  
”Fuck, I’ve missed this…”  
  
Billy’s voice is a strained moan and Ben quickly opens the man’s belt, throws it on the floor and practically rips up the buttons. He wets his fingers with spit and snakes his hand between the straddling thighs to his lover’s rim. The puckered skin is hot and Billy hisses from the touch. The spit slicks the way enough for Ben to get his index finger inside, but Billy hasn’t done this in a very long time and he’s so tight. Ben nods at the floor.  
  
”Give me the oil.”  
  
Billy quickly reaches for the pot they’ve kept by the bed and Ben slicks his fingers before rubbing them over Billy’s cleft. He lets just an inch of his index finger inside, teasing the tight hole and Billy moans.  
  
”Just get inside me, dammit!”  
  
Ben only gets one finger inside. Two fingers and Billy locks up tight.  
  
”Easy, Billy. Don’t rush. Just be still for a moment.”  
  
Billy stops moving and Ben moves his left hand to Billy’s stomach. He’s almost hairless, just a string going from his belly button down to his groin and Ben runs his fingertips all over his abdomen, rubbing the nipples while keeping his right index finger inside Billy’s ass and rubbing his thumb over the perineum. Ben has never seen a man act like this in bed. Billy’s completely shameless as Ben widens him. He relaxes, opens up and lowers down on a second finger, his muscles adjusting to the unusual pressure and Ben has never seen anything this pretty in his whole life. Billy’s ass is like a burning lock around his fingers,  slowly opening up and with breathy gasps falling from his mouth. Ben knows he wont be able to last very long inside him if the man keeps moaning and moving like this and he takes his fingers out, scooting down on the bed.  
  
”Turn around.”  
  
Billy obeys and Ben moves down until he has Billy’s ass in perfect angle over his mouth. The pink hole quivers over him and he takes a firm grip around Billy’s hips.  
  
”Ride my tongue.”  
  
The man gasps and grabs the base of his cock and Ben can’t help but smile. He points the tip of his tongue right at the hole and presses Billy down. The musky taste surrounds his tongue and the man starts riding him. Ben keeps his eyes open, watching his tongue work it’s way inside the hole. Billy’s cock is leaking and the man’s moans have turned into groaning curses and heavy pantings.  
  
”Fucks sake, Ben… I… Yeah, that’s… Fuck!”  
  
Billy moves out of reach and turns around, straddling Ben’s thighs and leans down for a hard, wet kiss. His eyes are slack with lust and he quickly pours more oil over Ben’s cock, positioning himself right over his hips and lowers himself. He hisses as he’s getting used to the stretch and Ben bites his lip hard as Billy’s hot, tight skin closes around his cock like a vice of flesh. Inch by inch he comes down, so tight Ben has to caress Billy’s stomach to get him to relax a bit.  
  
”Slower... You’re alright?”  
”Yeah, it’s… just been a while.”  
  
Ben isn’t surprised. Billy doesn’t strike him as someone taking it up the ass and to be honest, he’s not sure how this is gonna work. But then, the man relaxes and starts moving.  
  
The feeling is just fucking glorious. Billy is so hot and smooth around him, riding him like he’s never done anything else, his muscles working on Ben’s cock like a velvet glove. He’s rocking back and forth while leaning forward to catch the man’s nipple with his teeth, teasing and nibbling gently as the hands on his hips tightens in an almost bruising grip.  
  
Sweat is is forming on Billy’s frame, his cock slapping between their bellies, smearing their skin with leaking fluid. Ben can’t take his eyes from it. The head is swelling, foreskin pulled back and the slit dripping. He knows all too well how good it feels inside him and he shifts the angle slightly, grabbing Billy’s thighs to make enough space to lift himself from bed and the man screams as Ben fucks hard and fast into him. Billy’s cock is bouncing but he doesn’t touch it and when Ben reaches for it, his lover stops him.  
  
”Don’t… I want to come from your cock alone…”  
  
Ben lowers his hand and goes back to hold Billy’s hips. His lover’s head is slightly tossed back, eyes closed as he works himself on Ben’s lenght. He’s cursing, hissing and panting in a way that forces Ben to once again grab his own cock by the base, in the almost non existing space between them. The way Billy’s eyelashes flutter, the broken moans falling from his lips and how his prominent body shivers from every thrust is almost too much. Ben has never seen anything as beautiful as this man riding him, stretched wide and open for him, now crying out by every thrust.  
  
”Yes… God, yes… Don’t fucking stop, Ben…”  
  
Billy’s falling to pieces, turned into a pile of half-screaming, whimpering flesh as he’s crashing down, seed pulsating from his slit in streams over Ben’s chest and Ben gives in, slamming into the hot, wet hole, hearing the breathless whimpers from his lover as white pleasure takes over and Ben empties himself inside Billy’s clenching heat with a groan,his lower back curving and vision going out.  
  
When Billy’s getting off him, the man is as mess, his big, muscled arms and thighs adynamic and shivering as he lays down on his back, catching breath.  
  
”That was… worth every fucking minute of waiting…”  
  
Ben doesn’t answer, just plants a shallow kiss on his forehead before leaving the bed to get a cloth. He wipes them both in silence and then Billy pulls him into his strong arms, covering his hair with kisses.  
  
”See that gun on the floor, Ben?”  
  
Ben glances at the scattered clothes and items beside the bed and nods.  
  
”Yeah.”  
”The only reason I’d leave this bed now, is to take that gun and shoot whoever the fuck dares to try and separate us.”  
  
He caresses Ben’s cheek with a callous thumb and Ben curls up closer to his lover. Billy kisses him softly.  
  
”You are in no way a lesser man, Ben. Nightmares and panic or not, no one makes me as happy and safe as you.”  
  
  
**THE END**


End file.
